DOOR IS OPEN COUNSELING

We offer wide range of expertise that will meet your emotional needs and goals. We are highly trained in guiding individuals, couples, and families toward their personal and collective goals of living happier, healthier, more meaningful or well-adjusted lives. It is our commitment to help you achieve the improved self-esteem and confidence. Let us assist you in becoming your best self, setting the most effective boundaries for you, living in the present, and thriving today!

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. Independence

2. Self-confidence

3. Persistence

4. Creative thinking

5. Being thick skinned

6. Knowing who you are and what you want from life

7. Setting clear goals – and going after them

8. Staying focused

9. Optimism

10. Passion and a zest for life.

By Paul Halme

Bullying is a serious problem around the world and the number of bullies as well as those being bullied grows each year. It is important that we recognize the warning signs of bullying whether it is the signs of someone being bullied or the signs of someone actually taking part as the bully. If you are a parent or even an individual working in an environment (school or work) where bullying may be present, here are a few warning signs that can help you recognize bullying from the get-go rather than when it is too late.

Warning Signs of Being Bullied

There are many warning signs of a child or individual being bullied. Some of these warning signs are listed below; however, there are plenty that are not listed. If for any reason you believe you know someone that is being bullied, you should take action immediately. Here are signs of a student being bullied:

Reports the loss of items including but not limited to jewelry, books, clothes and electronics. Has injuries that are unexplained or that he/she does not wish to speak about. Comes home from school or work with missing belongings including books and clothes. Has difficulty sleeping and complains of frequent bad dreams or nightmares. Frequently complains of being sick, having headaches and stomach aches. Experiences changes in eating habits. Comes home hungry because they did not eat lunch. Running away and/or leaving home. Hurts themselves. Scared to go to school. Interest is lost in school, extra-curricular activities, sports, etc. Appears to be sad and depressed upon arrival at home from school. Acts differently than normal. Frequently feels as though they are not good enough. Avoids specific places in town. Has fewer friends unexpectedly. Talks about suicide.

Warning Signs of a Bully

Just as there are children that are bullied, there are also those that bully. Generally, there are more victims than attackers, but it is still just as important to be able to recognize a bully as it is a victim. Here are a few warnings of a bully:

Has new belongings and/or extra money without a real explanation of where the items came from. Is very quick to blame other individuals. Receives detention or is sent to the principal’s office on a regular basis. Prone to partake in verbal and physical fights with others. Is often violent with others. Has friends that are violent with others and bully others. Will not accept responsibility for their actions. Feels that they need to be the best at what they do and that they need to win.

You have now been equipped with the knowledge of what to expect to see from a bully or from a bully’s victim. Bullying is a very serious problem and is frankly turning into a widespread epidemic, so to speak. We can help stop the act of bullying by being familiar with the warning signs of a bully and the warning signs of someone being bullied. Take action now to help protect our youngster’s futures!



Yuna - Live Your Live ft. Theophilus London
 (Remix)

This song packs a beautiful message while the arrangement haunts us with a wonder to strive for more. Let this song play to ease whatever fears you may have. 

By Roger Elliott

If you’re tired of feeling bad about yourself, or just want some tips for those down days, these 7 practical strategies will help you take action to lift your self esteem.

1) Think back to when you did something new for the first time.

Learning something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness, lack of self belief and high stress levels, all of which are necessary parts of the learning process. The next time you feel under-confident, remembering this will remind you that it’s perfectly normal – you’re just learning!

2) Do something you have been putting off.

Like writing or calling a friend, cleaning the house, tidying the garden, fixing the car, organizing the bills, making a tasty and healthy meal – anything that involved you making a decision, then following through!

3) Do something you are good at.

Examples? How about swimming, running, dancing, cooking, gardening, climbing, painting, writing… If possible, it should be something that holds your attention and requires enough focus to get you into that state of ‘flow’ where you forget about everything else. You will feel more competent, accomplished and capable afterwards, great antidotes to low self esteem!

And while you’re at it, seriously consider doing something like this at least once a week. People who experience ‘flow’ regularly seem to be happier and healthier.

4) Stop thinking about yourself!

I know this sounds strange, but low self esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Doing something that absorbs you and holds your attention can quickly make you feel better.

5) Get seriously relaxed.

If you are feeling low, anxious or lacking in confidence, the first thing to do is to stop thinking and relax properly. Some people do this by exercising, others by involving themselves in something that occupies their mind. However, being able to relax yourself when you want is a fantastic life skill and so practicing self hypnosis, meditation, or a physically-based relaxation technique such as Tai Chi can be incredibly useful.

When you are properly relaxed, your brain is less emotional and your memory for good events works better. A great ‘rescue remedy’!

6) Remember all the things you have achieved.

This can be difficult at first, but after a while, you’ll develop a handy mental list of self-esteem boosting memories. And if you’re thinking “But I’ve never achieved anything”, I’m not talking about climbing Everest here.

Things like passing your driving test (despite being nervous), passing exams (despite doubting that you would), playing team sport, getting fit (even if you let it slip later), saving money for something, trying to help someone (even if it didn’t work) and so on.

7) Remember that you could be wrong!

If you are feeling bad about yourself, remember that you way you feel affects your thoughts, memory and behavior. So when you feel bad, you will only remember the bad times, and will tend to be pessimistic about yourself. This is where the tip ‘Get Seriously Relaxed’ comes in!



Once you have tried out a few of these, consider making them a permanent part of your life. For most people, good self esteem is not just a happy accident, it’s a result of the way they think and the things they do from day to day. Good Luck!

By Nancy Philpott

"When searching for specific signs of depression, it is important to understand that it cannot be defined as "one-size-fits-all. " It has long been known that women are much more prone to be depressed than men, and that the specific causes of female depression and the diagnosis of its symptoms are often very different from males. True depression is often a sign of an unbalanced emotional well-being that can have a dramatic negative effect on her overall emotional health. However, it can be reversed through a good diagnosis and the practice of emotional resilience.

Specific Causes of Depression

Men and women experience depression differently, and the symptoms can be just as widely separated. The tendency of women to experience some of the specific symptoms is often a lot more than those experienced by men. Numerous factors that contribute to the unique diagnosis of specific depression in women include an imbalance of reproductive hormones and pressures of emotions and social interaction that cause stress. By understanding some of these factors, every woman experiencing depression can minimize the symptoms and improve their mental health.

Reading the Signs

Reading the signs that a woman is depressed include feeling fear, sadness and worthless, feeling anxious and scared, blaming themselves, feeling tired and nervous, having trouble with setting boundaries and avoiding conflicts at all cost. Additional signs include talking about their self-doubt and despair, along with using friends, “love” and food to self-medicate themselves in their despondency.

Specific causes for depression include premenstrual problems, or the hormonal fluctuations during menstruation, that can be defined as PMS (premenstrual syndrome), irritability, fatigue, emotional reactivity and bloating. Infertility and pregnancy are also hormonal changes that can create depression in women. Though not common, postpartum depression can cause depression in women that are experiencing the “blues” of having a baby. Additionally, women experiencing menopause and peri-menopause are known to have a history of depression as well.

How Depression Is Different in Women

Many women experiencing depression can be described as being in a constantly depressed mood, along with having an overall sense of worry, guilt, and hopelessness. Many women experience a disturbance of their sleep pattern (either sleeping a lot less, or a lot more) and have a significant alteration in their appetite and weight. Some women experience a challenge to their mental acuity, finding it difficult to concentrate and experience an overall lack of energy while dealing with constant fatigue.

Many men experience depression in direct opposition to how women handle it. They tend to blame others, are constantly on guard and feeling suspicious. They are inclined to create conflicts and blame others for their troubles.

They react agitated and feel constant anxiety and restlessness. There often irritable, ego-inflated and display angry behavior all the time. Because they tend to define the admission of self-doubt and despair as a sign of weakness, they avoid talking about it and constantly want to be in control of all things at all costs. They use sex, sports, television, drinking and other addictive behaviors as a way to self-medicate.

Recognizing the signs of depression is the first step in treating yourself for the condition. Knowledge always provides hope and a way to reverse your emotional health to its optimal levels.”

The biggest mistake you can make is to be complacent and think that you have lots of extra time on your hand… There’s so much to do that you can’t possibly let one second slip by that’s not filled to the brim.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Trinity College, 2004
Success is a lot like a bright, white tuxedo. You feel terrific when you get it, but then you’re desperately afraid of getting it dirty, of spoiling it in any way.
Conan O’Brien, Harvard University, 2000

1. Take a Walk Outside. Enjoy the sunshine! Studies show that Vitamin D & sunshine can boost your mood & help kick the blues away.

2. Eat Breakfast. Start your day hydrated and with a hearty healthy breakfast. This will help your body manage the day’s stress as well as fuel your brain.

3. Drink More Tea. Green tea leaves contain polyphenols. Polyphenols are a type of antioxidant that combats the oxidative stress. Herbal teas with camomile and lemon grass can be very relaxing before bed.

4. Breathe. Slow deep belly breaths can stimulate the full body relaxation response.

5. “Nest” Before Bed. Take time to slow down and let your body and mind know it’s time to rest. Warm bath, journaling, lavender lotion, positive book are ways to wind down and relax before bed.

6. Get Moving. Exercise is a great way to teach your body how to handle stress. This can be a great way to remove tension & heal your body.

7. Drink More Water. Staying hydrated is a sure way to keep the Anxiety Monster at bay. Even 2% dehydration can have symptoms similar to anxiety and panic.

8. Eat Your Fruits & Veggies. Keeping your body fueled & balanced with optimal clean nutrition is a way you ensure that your body has what it needs to fight off daily stress.

9. Try Supplements. Have an open conversation with your doctor. Consider a multivitamin, additional magnesium, b-complex, fish oil, 5-HTP, Gaba, and Melatonin.

10. Learn & Grow. Spend time listening to podcasts, read, educate yourself on new healthy recipes, fitness tips,and nutrition.

11. Find Support. Look for a friend or head to our website to have a place to share your true feelings. Going through anxiety alone is much more difficult.

12. Try Music Therapy. Keep your mp3 player full of songs that make you smile. You want to keep songs that really light up your soul for times of self-talk or anxiety.

13. Arm Yourself. Keep survival tools near by. Pack your purse, night stand, car or office with the items you will need if the panic monster arrives. Music, smelly lotion, water, charged cell phone, snack & journal are great. choices.

14. Journal. Journaling your thoughts onto paper is one of the most healing things you can do everyday. Out of your head and on to paper. Will help them from bouncing around in your mind for long periods of time.

15. Find “Healing Time”. Read your devotionals, meditate, practice yoga, sit and reflect. This is time to center your body and mind.

16. Keep Track. Using our Daily Healing Journal can be a powerful tool. Keeps track of food, supplements, fitness, fluids, sleep & feelings. Great to look back each month to see the developments or find the triggers.

17. Make a List. Try focusing on one thing at a time. Mono-tasking usually gets us overwhelmed and in trouble. List the day, then only look at the next item on the list.

18. Monitor What’s Going In. Watching the news. Maybe cop shows. Those might not be the best choices while you are healing. Try turning off the TV for a while. Put down the newspaper, and pick up a book that will aid in your healing process. Make healing your new hobby.

19. Pamper Yourself. After being in survival mode for so long it is time to turn the focus on ourselves. Aromatherapy baths, massages, new haircut. Time to take care of us. Who are you waiting for to do it.

20. Dream & Believe. How can you have hope if your not dreaming. What could you be doing if you weren’t anxious. Know that you will get better & great things are waiting.


By Amy Furbee / The Hatched Egg

Low Self Esteem and Ego

"The first step is to understand that self-esteem is your opinion of yourself. Once you appreciate this, you are well on the road to strengthening that self-esteem. Next, ask yourself why would you have a poor opinion of yourself in any area of your life?   One reason might be that you have compared yourself with other people. If you come up short in that comparison, your opinion of yourself is diminished and problems arise. What you must do now is to enhance your opinion of yourself.

We All Have Different Resources

Not everyone is a man, not everyone is a woman. Everyone is not tall or short. Everyone is not rich or poor. But everyone is a human being, and in that regard you are equal to every other human being.

Some people see other human beings as having attributes they lack and feel shortchanged. This feeling of deficiency, even in one area, shows up in your overall ego, in your general opinion of yourself. However when everyone is seen as a human being, then everyone becomes equal. We are all human beings, and seen in that light there is no competition. There can be no competition.

When you are indeed able to see two people, and there is no competitive urge to be better than either one, then you have reached a high level of self-esteem and can see yourself for what you are—a human being—equal to every other human being.

To Overcome Low Self Esteem - Look Inside Not Outside

Is there anyone in your life you look up to, anyone you feel is better than you? Then you should work on enhancing your self-esteem. Is there anyone in your life you look down upon, anyone you believe is less than you? Then again, your self-esteem needs work. When you see everyone, from those you formerly looked at as the lowest of the low to those you viewed as the highest of the high, as—doing things differently perhaps, but all equal as human beings—then you find yourself with a healthy level of self-esteem. When you have high self-esteem, you are in constant competition with the only person it makes sense to compete with—yourself. Life then becomes a game, and all the things in life that were bothersome become challenges and part of the game.

How To Fight Low Self-Esteem

The first step in our technique for improving self-esteem is to pick something in your life that you are good at and want to improve. Once you have decided what that is, go to your meditative alpha level and examine it in all its aspects. Create a visualization, an image of yourself doing this activity, and then enhance the mental picture.

This Golden Image visualization technique, to go from low self esteem to high self esteem, is explained at great detail in our Home Study Course. The success, is guaranteed.

Fight Low Self-Esteem By Getting Better and Better?  To compete with yourself to improve your talent, start by setting the improvement as a goal. First, set a base line: determine how you do at present. Then determine in what way you wish to do it better—to do it more or less, faster or slower, larger or smaller, whatever applies. Now go to your level and see yourself doing this activity better. Go through the same enhancement you used when you examined the talent before, but see yourself doing it better.

Finally, set your goal to actually do it that way. When you come to an outer conscious level, hold on to that image, work, toward that goal, and keep at it until you are successful. You will compete with yourself and you will be successful. Soon you will develop the habit of success, of winning, and your self-esteem will grow.”

 

Sage advice from Burt Goldman

 

Put blinders on to those things that conspire to hold you back, especially the ones in your own head. Guard your good mood. Listen to music every day, joke, and love and read more for fun, especially poetry.
Meryl Streep, University of New Hampshire, 2003